OBumper Stickers O
My other car is a rust bucket too.
If it's too loud, you're too old.
Answer my prayers, steal this car.
Forget about world peace...visualise using your turn signal.
Horn broken. Watch for finger.
Beware, driver spits.
Think you could drive better with that
phone shoved up your butt?
Do you think there is an After Life? Touch this car and find out!
God created Holdens so that dick-heads wouldn't drive Fords.
I would rather push my Ford than drive a Holden.
In six days God made the world. On the seventh He made a Ford.
And on the eighth He traded it in for a Holden.
Honk if the twins fall out.
This is not an abandoned vehicle.
Don't follow me. I'm lost too.
Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
My other car is a space ship!
If you can read this, the punk fell off. (on jacket of a bike rider.)
I am not paranoid. Which of my enemies told you this?
Caution, driver just doesn't give a shit any more.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
The good old days -
When men were men and women
walked all over them in stilettos.
If you cannot be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Those who admire the freedom of birds have never built a nest.
It is hard to soar with Dragons when you work with Gargoyles.
Eagles may soar. But weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
I break for no apparent reason.
I think, there fore I am dangerous.
I think, therefore I am single.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
If you can read this sign, I can hit my breaks and sue you.
Never drive faster than your Guardian Angel can fly!
Jesus is coming. Look busy!
A woman's place is in the house. And the Senate.
Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did,
only backwards and in high heels!
Real women do not have hot flushes. They have power surges.
Save the trees ... Wipe your butt with an owl!
Two words to clear a crowded men's room "N...i...c...e Dick".
A day without sunshine is, like, night.
Those that live by the sword are shot by those that don't.
Never share a foxhole with someone braver than yourself.
Pardon my driving, I'm re-loading.
Law of street survival; speak slowly and own a big mean dog.
The more I learn about terrorists, the more I understand the postal services.
Kill in Cold Blood University Alumni.
Yes, I am an agent of Evil, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
Death before dishonour. Nothing before coffee!
Coffee, Chocolate, Men. . . Some things are just better Rich.
If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
The way to a mans heart is between the fourth and fifth ribs.
Men are like pigeons. They should never be looked up to.
I will eat my words if you will write them in chocolate.
I am a wholly owned subsidiary of a housecat
who is plotting world domination from the windowsill.
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it
is safer to harass vain women than motorbike gangs.
Humans were not meant to understand everything.
Certainly not sober.
I know I'm drunk when I feel sophisticated, but can't pronounce it.
ª ª ª
You are not drunk as long as you can hold onto the floor.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, and Fi-Fi isn't wearing any.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Mary had a little lamb. The doctor fainted.
That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
We've retired early and are now on holiday spending our
children's inheritance (back of campervan.)
All alone, I have fought my way into this mess.
You can touch the dust, but please don't write in it.
Train of thought de-railed ...hundreds of neurons killed or injured
... details coming in as survivors are located....
I am up and dressed, what more do you want?
DO NOT WASH! This vehicle is undergoing a scientific dirt test.
BUCKLE UP! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of the car.
I swerve and hit people at random.
Don't hassle me I'm local.
My other car is a Jag.
When I die I want to be asleep like my grandfather was.
Not screaming like the passengers in his car.
Change is inevitable. Except from vending machines.
This car is protected by a thin layer of dust.
Denial is not a river in Egypt.
Give me Ambiguity, or give me... something else!
I don't suffer from insanity. I revel in it.
Even if the voices are not real, they have some real good ideas.
If you all yell at once, I can't separate you from the voices in my head.
I don't mind criticism, I ignore it.
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing
through the leather straps.
A friend in need is a pest indeed.
A friend with weed is better.
She who laughs last, thinks slowest.
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
Cancer cures smoking.
I am the person your parents warned you about.
She who has the biggest bullbar gets to be the biggest bitch.
All generalisations are false. Including this one.
I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
Timing is the essential ingredient in any rain-dance.
If you want your name spelt wrong - die.
Out to lunch. If not back by 5, out to dinner as well.
What's got 75 balls and screws little old ladies? Bingo.
Erotica is what turns 'me' on. Pornography is what turns 'you' on,
you poor sick bastard you....
It's easier the night before to get up early the next morning.
I'm a control freak; I won't let you understand.
Don't worry - it will only seem kinky the first time.
Dyslexics have more fnu! Untie Dyslexics!
In dog years, I am dead.
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's
our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until
they mature into something we'd like to have dinner with.
If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.
Mr. Credit is dead. Mr. Debt killed him.
Money won't buy you friends, but it will get you a
nicer class of enemy.
Before you borrow money off a friend,
decide which you need more.
It is better to give than to lend, and costs about the same.
Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
As you journey through life take a minute every now and
then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could
be plotting something.
Who the hell let the morning people run things?
I can't come to work today, the voices said to stay home and clean the guns.
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is a little like having
a peeing section in a pool.
There are two rules for success in life: Rule 1) Don't tell people everything you know.
When arguing with a fool, make sure they are not doing the same thing.
God? Protect me from your followers!
If going to church makes you a Christian, does going to the
garage make you a car?
EOWYN: The women of this country learned long ago that those
who do not have swords can still die by them.
I fear neither pain nor death.
ARAGORN: What do you fear?
DANGER - Flammable Cargo - STAY BACK 200 FEET.
Blondes Have More Guns!
If you can read this...GOOD, You're in range.
Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy.
Check 3 friends, if they are okay, you're it.
Don't piss me off. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
I hate coffee--it keeps me awake at work.
Where did we hang our clothes before we got the exercise bike?
Toucha da car, I toucha your face!
I'm on a golf diet, I live on greens!
If life deals you lemons, make lemonade;
if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.
Rum, more than just a breakfast beverage.
Eat right, exercise, die anyway.
Let's not be too critical of the tobacco industry.
After all, it *has* found a cure for old age.
Don't like my driving? E-mail me at idontgive@damnufkwit
Bad Boy take offs...
Bad Bug (on Volkswagen)
The Menacing Mini!
The Mighty Mini!
The Pocket Rocket!
Other fun names...
Mom's Battle Wagon.
Dances With Roo's.
Those sayings across the back of peoples windows...
Over exhaust pipe
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