/I must be ill,/ he thought, /perhaps I should call Doctor Bashir./ No, perhaps not. After all, he had just propelled that young man out into the corridor without his shoes. Without his shoes! Oh no, without his jacket, or the promised Barillium vaccine either. That would mean he... The door chime sounded, and the Cardassian's head shot up in alarm.

He could pretend he hadn't heard, hide, not answer...What was he thinking? He couldn't let his young man walk through the station bare foot. He had to answer the door.

/Get a hold of yourself, Garak./ He admonished himself, slowly straitening up. Smoothing down his sides and adjusting his collar he keyed open the door. Grim faced the doctor slipped past him, only to turn and lean against the wall facing the Cardassian, hand on hip, long legs crossed at the ankles.

"Kindly explain," tiny lines appeared at the corners of the doctors eyes as he narrowed them at his friend, "what is going on. I had thought you might want me to stay." A hint of the bewildered rejection Julian was feeling escaped in the last sentence, stinging at Garak's conscience.

"I most assuredly do!" Garak cried, moving towards the doctor. He almost placed his hand on his arm, but stopped the action just in time.

Julian looked into pain filled blue eyes, then took his friends still outstretched hand and pulled him towards the couch. "Come with me - sit. Doctors orders." He went to pour them both a drink. Handing one to the silent tailor he sat next to him, just close enough that one knee brushed, but far enough away to maintain personal space. "Now talk."

"Funny, I'm usually so loquacious, but I find I don't know how to begin." Garak's shoulders slumped, his colour was dull, dejection. Resisting the urge to run gentling hands over the unsmiling face, Julian bit his lip and ruthlessly suppressed the impulse. He also had to keep in check a fairly valiant attempt to gain his attention being made by his wayward libido. This was far too serious to allow the distraction.

"Garak, we've been building up to this moment forever. What's wrong? Have I said something? Moved to fast? Talk to me." He was pleading, turning the glass in his hand round and round. Distraught, and needing a reason to turn away before Garak saw the threatening tears in his eyes, he turned to put the glass on the low table.

"Julian." Garak gasped. Thinking that his friend was turning to leave Garak caught Julian's shoulders and clung on tight. With the doctor now turned away from him, out of the beam of those marvellous, melting brown eyes, suddenly he found his voice.

"Not you, Julian. Never you. Me. I...you can never do wrong. It is this plain and simple tailor who...I can not... Julian." He grasped his friend tight, and breathed in the smell his hair. The doctor leaned back, one hand coming to rest on Garak's at his shoulder.

"Go on," he whispered. But the soft voice was too much and Garaks fear turned on him again.

"Gul, why is this so hard? What is happening to me?" Garak spun out of his seat, causing Julian to fall helplessly back onto the couch. With quick strides the Cardassian began pacing the room.

"How did this happen to me? I am in control, I am in control. Breath, Garak, breath. This in not happening. No. I will not allow it. There must be control, and order. I am not a slave to my baser instincts. They do not control me." He continued to pace, his barely audible muttering growing more and more disjointed. Sprawled on the couch, the doctor was left to piece things together as best he could. A frown creased his brow, and he pulled himself up to sit on the couch's edge.

"Oh, I see. It's not that I'm going to fast. I'm going to slow." The Cardassian froze at his words, looked intently at something over the doctors left shoulder, and issued a tight nod. He then continued to pace, taking the path that put him at the furthest end of the room.

"Garak, why didn't you just say?" Julian realised that Garak must be so wrought up that he feared once he acted upon his feelings he would be unable to control himself. And Garak so hated being out of control.

"Because, my dear Julian, if I had said, please leave or I'm afraid I will ravish you, you might not have left. And then where would I be?"

"With an extremely horny Julian Bashir in your arms, I should think." The handsome man on the couch smiled, mischief shinning in his eyes. The idea of out-of-control sex with his friend wasn't that bad an idea, to him.

"You don't understand." Garak gripped his hands together and forced himself to stand still. "I love you. But I am afraid that I might hurt you."

"Love me?" Julian slid upright on the couch. Oh dear. This wasn't about just sex then. "Garak...you love me? That's...say it again."

"I love you." The Cardassian said, going over to take his friend's hands. Julian looked up at him with stunned eyes.

He had known that Garak wanted him, held deep and even protective feelings for him. But loved him? Now, that was a surprise. Almost fantastic, considering the cold hearted killer he knew Garak could be. The man had walled off so much of himself to please his father, the fact he was able to open enough of himself to fall in love was unbelievably. Well, looking into those eyes, maybe not so unbelievable. Lord, but had anyone ever looked at him like that before? Tugging on their joined hands, he closed his eyes and waited to be kissed.

But again Garak resisted, and Julian opened his eyes to meet his friends raw and un-masked emotions. He burned. In the windows of Garak's soul a fire was raging. There was something of lust, something of need there in his eyes. Yet over all was a deep and abiding hunger that could not be quelled without taking the whole of him, consuming him in the flames.

Involuntarily Bashir looked away. Unsettled the Cardassian moved to leave, but Julian followed him up and clung to his side so that the other man could not escape.

"I'm not afraid of you," he whispered fiercely.

"Oh, but doctor, I am." Garak turned his face away, only to have it turned back by Julian's grip on his chin.

"What have I got to be afraid of?" he asked.

"Me." Garak whispered; the intensity of the moment rendering him helpless before those searching eyes. "It's not just...physical harm. My dear, dear doctor - I must... Great Gul help me I must confess it, I must posses you! Body and soul. It is imperative you understand this." His voice had sped-up and risen as he spoke, the urgency he was feeling came out in the intensity of his words.

"This is no little thing for me, nor for you. I must have you - by force if necessary! Do you see now? I simply can not control this. I stand at the edge of a spiralling abyss and should I fall I shall surely take you with me!"

Dumbfounded Julian stepped back, releasing Garak who simply stood before him. /So, this is how it is./ The human forced himself to take a deep breath while he marshalled his thoughts. Searching his heart, he found the words he needed to say.

"Didn't you think, plain, simple Garak, that I might want to be claimed? I've been alone in my life, needed a friend, needed a lover, someone to take me home, to be with me - forever." He looked deep into his friend's burning blue eyes, and this time managed to hold them. "Didn't you think that I might love you too?"

Without warning Garak collapsed, and Julian only just managed to catch and redirect him towards the couch.

"Oooh, I feel faint." Moaned the tailor as Julian elevated his feet on the low table. A secret smile twitched at the doctors lips, this was the man he was to fear? The one currently swooning (good lord, such an old fashioned thing to do!) before him, sent wobbly kneed by a declaration of love.

"Are you alright?" he asked, tenderly stroking back a stray lock of his Garak's hair. At the Cardassians nod, he reached for the remaining wine glass on the table and presented it. "Here, drink this... doctors orders." When the colour had returned to his companions face he got up and quietly collected his things. /Jacket, shoes, vaccine, socks in pocket, was that all?/

"Julian?"

"Don't worry." The doctor smiled. "We'll work this out. Now, I've got some thinking to do. See you later." He dropped a kiss on the surprised tailor's forehead, then bent again to give him a warmer farewell on the lips. "Mmm..." he sighed, "You taste nice." and with that he turned and left.

Garak sat, his mouth still warm and tingly from the kiss, his eyes closed. Slowly he brought his fingers to his lips.