To the O'Briens With Love

By Fire Frog

It had been a long day, his first back at full time work. The previous week of light duties had been hard in a different way, having to rely on others to look after his patients, limiting himself to just monitoring them and suggesting treatments.

Gradually his stamina got better, but Julian felt he probably should have left a full-time return to work until after the Corabee had docked. All those physicals, and the Gurigi were such a shy race.

When Kira eventually came to escort him home he was well and truly ready to go. Looking forwards to relaxing, Julian winced when he found Miles waiting for him by his doorway. He had been too tired lately to visit with the O'Briens, or anyone else for that matter.

He had held that meeting he had arranged with Miles and Keiko, to discuss the technicalities of the pregnancy. However, feelings had been strained, partly because he himself felt uncomfortable. Keiko had been looking at him like she wanted to devour him with a spoon and Miles hadn't been much better. He'd found their gratitude hard to deal with. He'd only been doing his job, after all. And on top of that, well, he hadn't lied to his friends, exactly, but he hadn't quite told the whole truth, either.

He had explained to them that he would be undergoing an ectopic pregnancy and caesarian birth, with all the problems such things entailed. It was risky, but ultimately their only hope. The O'Briens had nodded at this, but asked no questions and seemed quiet and subdued when they left. They hadn't really seen each other again until now.

Kira escorted the men inside, then scooted off with a slightly guilty look on her face. Puzzled, Julian waited for Miles to begin talking, but soon realized the chief wasn't ready to begin yet. The Irishman perched sideways on the windowsill, sitting ramrod strait, looking at the vastness of space through one of the large picture windows Julian's quarters had been lucky enough to come with.

Sighing Julian sat down and drew the work he had brought home with him closer on the low coffee table. He began to re-index some dropped files from an old Hentes lecture he once attended. Miles inevitably got up and began to pace the room. Eventually, he spoke.

"The thing is, Julian…" he began, voice breaking. Pausing, he clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to hold his emotions back, not wanting to get too worked up. He tried again. "Keiko and I, we both think you need some help. And we really want to be the ones to give it to you. Er, help you with it...er...."

"What do you mean?" Julian looked up curiously, a slightly distracted look in his eyes saying he was still partly involved in the files in his hand. Miles cursed himself, it was his own fault, he'd been silent for a while now, letting Bashir get absorbed in his own world.

"What do I mean? What do I mean?" he muttered to himself, trying to remember some of that speech he'd been practicing all day. "Well, just look at you." Miles gestured at his friend. "You're exhausted. You've been exhausted this whole time. We think that the only solution is for you to come and live with us."

"Solution to what? Miles, you're not making sense."

"I am, but you're too tired to see it." The engineer looked significantly at the way Julian was slouching on the couch, not perching on it like he normally did. Julian was nearly always poised for flight, but lately he'd barely been able to drag himself about.

Julian self-consciously tried to straighten up and Miles knelt down besides him, pushing the files the doctor held to one side and looking into his eyes. His face softened considerably at the signs of fatigue he saw there. "Don't be mad, but Nerys told us about the morning sickness. It must be hell trying to cope on your own. Let us help."

Julian gave a disgusted snort, he should have known the major would run to the O'Briens eventually.

"Look, Julian - you don't have to do this on your own. We want to help you. Just with simple things, like making a meal, fixing your clothes or fetching extra blankets at night. And if anything does go wrong, we'll be right there to help. You don't need those." He indicated the monitors laid out on the table. "You just need these." Work worn hands came up and rested on Julian's shoulders, kneading them in just the right spots.

Julian closed his eyes and leant into the touch. So Miles got up and perched along side the sofa, getting behind a little so he could reach the tender areas on the doctor's neck.

"Mmm...that feels nice," Julian conceded. "But, Miles, I don't think I'd make a very good house guest. I've lived on my own for so long now, I've become terribly set in my ways."

"Then tell us how you do things and we'll do them your way." The chief went for the spot that always got Keiko melting, finding Julian was the same. He all but purred under O'Brien's hands. "What ever you want," Miles whispered into his friend's ear, silently thanking his wife for coming up with this particular strategy. She was right, Julian was a complete sensualist.

"Well..." Julian wavered. He wasn't handling the vulnerability of morning sickness at all well. In fact, his stress levels had increased since that first night, not decreased. And he couldn't deny that the offer was tempting. And the massage felt fantastic.

"I wouldn't want to impose," he demurred.

"Julian." Miles sighed as he stopped the massage and went back to kneeling again. "We need you there. Keiko needs to be near her child. We've hardly seen you at all since this thing began, d'you know that? First you were in the infirmary, then you've been working or sleeping all the time. At least if you stayed with us, we could look in on you, even if you were just asleep. At the very least, come round to dinner tonight, Keiko would love to see you and she has some arguments that might make you think...."

"All right, Miles. Why didn't you tell me Keiko was missing the baby? I, um, thought the sight of someone else carrying her child might upset her," the doctor confessed. "I wouldn't hurt either of you for the world, you know that. Of course I'll come and stay, if you want it that much. Only, I tend to get a little irritable at times and I doubt the two of you need to be handling my ill-temper as well as everything else."

"We want to handle your 'ill-temper.' It'll make us happy. Come home with me, just for a trial. If you don't like it, you can come back here." Miles loosely gripped Julian's arm, meeting his eyes with determined frankness. Bashir at last gave up and allowed himself to be swayed.

"Okay. Just a trial. Until the morning sickness is gone. But you must promise to mention it if I bother you."

"You won't bother us. After Keiko's pregnancy with Molly, nothing you can come up with could trouble us. Now, tell me where your things are and I'll pack a little overnight stuff for you."

Miles persuaded Julian to let him gather up his things, while he finished indexing the Hentes files. Julian wanted to give a copy to the Gurigis before they left, so he gratefully complied.

"Are yer sure you should be working full time already?" came the chief's voice from the bedroom a little while later.

"I'm fine, don't worry so. And don't forget to pack my crackers, they're by the bed."

"What, these?" Miles peered at the thin dry biscuits curiously. "You haven't got a parrot, have you?"

"No, they're for the morning sickness. Mother sent me the code, I replicated them to my grandmother's secret recipe. They're actually quite good. Try some."

"No thanks." Miles grimaced. "Now, you won't need blankets, but I'll grab some pillows, Keiko likes those flat Cardassian ones, if you can believe it."

"Well, they are very good for the spine. Hard to sleep on, but good for the spine."

"Can't see any round here." O'Brien smirked, squeezing another top into Julian's travel bag.

"Miles, that's more than enough stuff." Julian sauntered in and indicated the near bursting travel bag. "We can come back for anything else tomorrow. I've finished sorting these, so we may as well head over to your place. Keiko would have dinner started by now, do you think?"

"Oh, she started before I left. She was quite determined that you would come. Don't know what I would have done if you hadn't agreed. Knocked you out and dragged you, most like."

Julian went over and took the pillow from Miles' arms, looking curiously at his friend. "You really want me to stay over that badly?"

"Let me put it this way, if you didn't come back with me tonight, I think Keiko would have come after you with a lasso. She really needs to see you. And so do I." He put a hand out and guided his friend towards the door. Julian seemed to be having a little trouble grasping the fact that they wanted him in their home. Tonight should put an end to that.

As the two Starfleet staff exited Julian's quarters, they were approached by an unusual procession. First came the imposing figures of Kai Winn and Mota, the station's current vedek; closely followed by Odo, Major Kira and a Bajoran woman carrying a holo imager. As they drew closer, O'Brien instinctively stepped in front of the doctor, his face already heating with anger. Kai Winn was never a welcome sight and Vedek Mota had already spoken to Keiko; his wife had needed some serious calming down afterwards.

"What do you want?" he snarled, narrowing his eyes.

"It's all right, Chief," Kira spoke up, her voice calm, but her look uncertain. "Just let the Kai talk with Julian for a while. It's important."

O'Brien harrumphed, but moved to the side a little so Julian and the Bajoran religious leader could talk.

The kai approached, lifting one hand to touch Julian's ear. He yelped in sudden pain. As the Kai drew back her hand a small palm-held device was revealed and there was blood on her fingertips. Julian dropped what he was holding and felt his abused ear. She had apparently driven an earring of some sort through its lobe.

"You have caused us all a great deal of trouble, child," the kai intoned, her disapproval and irritation showing plainly. This pregnancy business was cutting into council time and she had an important motion she needed passed immediately. She tucked the piercing device back into her robe, then signaled the holo imager be turned on before fixing the errant human with her gaze.

"We are not an unkind people. Until the rightness or otherwise of your actions are decided, this will keep you safe. Koparo sempta, Alentis." She stretched up and passed one hand over his head. "It is done. You should be grateful, for the work of the Prophets has been set aside in order for us to attend this matter, but their compassion and honor demands it." Stepping back she motioned the holo to stop recording. Then she turned and led the holographic technician and the vedek away.

"That's it? Aren't you going to tell him anything?" Kira fumed. But the kai and her entourage continued down the corridor, not bothering to answer.

Odo walked over and examined the doctor's ear. A small shimmery orange stone had been spiked into the soft flesh. "Do you need medical attention?"

"Um, no. I'll apply disinfectant when we get to Miles place, but it shouldn't be a problem. I would like an explanation of all this though, please." He turned to Kira, who stiffened her shoulders and faced him.

"The High Council on Bajor has met to debate, er, male pregnancy ethics." She blushed, having only just managed to say aloud the somewhat more...impolite...name these talks had earned. "They have agreed to offer you protection while the debate continues. The religious performance just now with the kai was televised to let everyone know Kai Winn has performed the Koparo for you. While the council debates, and you wear the jewel of Alenti," she indicated the earring, "no one may harm you, or even discuss the matters before the council with you. I... we tried to get it conferred on the O'Briens as well, but the council didn't feel it was necessary."

Kira moved from foot to foot unhappily. There was more, but she had discussed it with Sisko and he felt neither Julian nor the O'Briens needed to know. The tall human had brought his own pressure as the Emissary to bear on the matter and with any luck things would resolve themselves shortly.

"We can discus this later," growled Odo, scooping up the pillow and a few other items Bashir had dropped. "I assume you are going to accept the O'Briens' offer of hospitality, Doctor?"

Julian looked at Miles, who glanced at Kira, who looked quickly away. The whole quadrant was discussing his private life. Wonderful.

"Yes," he said in answer to Odo's question. Julian didn't know what to think of the Bajorans' offer of protection, he certainly didn't trust their motivations. But with all the attention, he suddenly felt a strong need to be near his friends.

"Good." Odo began striding down the corridor in the direction of the O'Briens' quarters, as the others hurried to catch up.

"Does this mean I have to wear the, um, jewel of Alenti, all the time now?" Julian indicated his stinging ear.

"Until council ends. Don't worry." Kira's voice took on a hard edge. "If things don't go in our favor, I'll know about it long before anyone else. We won't allow you be harmed."

"Well, I'm jolly glad to hear it." Julian's light tone infuriated the major, until she glanced over and saw him giving Miles a worried look. Chief O'Brien was an unhealthy-looking gray color, and anxiety weighed heavily in his eyes. It didn't take a genius to realize Bashir's flippancy was aimed at trying not to concern his friend more.

When they reached their destination Odo handed back his burdens and nodded grimly at them. "I shall be presenting assault charges to Kai Winn before her ship is allowed to depart. If you wish to lay your own additional charges, leave word at my office." With a short bow, he turned and strode off in the direction of the docking rings.

"Odo! You can't!" yelped Kira, charging after him.

"Just watch me," came the reply.

With steady hands, Keiko O'Brien drained the hot water from the noodles then set them to one side. Now she only needed to grind some black pepper for the sauce and the meal was done.

Carefully she surveyed the room. Everything had been tidied, polished and shined, some things twice. Molly sat quietly in a chair, PADD card game in her lap, hair brushed until it shone, wearing her best dress.

Keiko was also wearing one of her best dresses, a red silk hostess dress of Earth Asian design. She reached up to smooth her hair once more, wondering why they were taking so long.

What if Miles couldn't convince Julian to come stay with them? What if Julian needed his privacy, or didn't trust them to look after him properly, or...? She shook her head, took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Of course Miles would talk Julian into staying. She had a very resourceful husband, whom Julian happened to adore. He would come. He would.

Just then the door slid aside and the two men who had been in her thoughts came through.

"Welcome home," she said.

"This has got to be one of the best ideas you've ever had." Miles took another bite of candyfloss, an arm wrapped firmly around the waist of his wife. Ahead of them Julian weaved through the crowd, walking backwards with little Molly perched happily on his shoulders.

"Can't take all the credit, Chief," he said. "Felix really outdid himself with this one."

And he had. Julian's holo-programming friend had done a magnificent job at recreating a twentieth century Earth fairground, complete with crowds and side shows. This was its innocuous setting, of course. When Julian usually ran it there was a spy thriller programmed into it, with all sorts of exciting booby traps, exotic, scantily-dressed women with mysterious clues and a giant bomb at the heart of it all that threatened the world. Felix knew what Julian liked.

Tonight the O'Briens had journeyed here with him. They had already wandered down the sideshow alley, where they'd seen the magician's show, a sword swallower, a flame juggler and a clown. Julian had joined in with the juggling act, laughing as the burning brands whirled past his face. Miles frowned in concern, but it was Keiko who had practically picked Bashir up and pulled him away. Julian had let the diminutive woman have her way, she looked quite worried about him. Needlessly, of course. Neither of the O'Briens knew how good he actually was at juggling, it was one of his 'hidden' talents.

They had all managed to get lost in the mirror maze, even Miles, who had a damned good sense of direction and couldn't believe how a few mirrors had had him so completely foxed.

Now they strolled along the other exhibits, enjoying the sights. Miles was eating a fluffy lump of spun sugar that non of the others were game enough to touch, despite his reassurances that it tasted okay. The night was closing in, fireflies were beginning to dance around the electric lights. It had been a perfect outing.

Julian had suggested the fun fair, seeing as Miles was so upset about the meeting with the kai and Keiko and Molly had needed a little cheering up, too. A night of fun had been called for, so after dinner he had herded them off to Quark's.

Julian stopped to try his luck at the rotating clown heads. The idea was to drop a ping pong ball into the mechanical clown's mouth and watch it fall into a numbered catcher.

Whatever the number was, you won that prize. His number was sixteen and he won a little bracelet, which he gallantly handed over to Molly. She was very pleased and happily showed it off to her parents.

When the little girl began to list sideways on her Uncle 'Joolian's' shoulders, Miles reached up and declared it time to go home. Cradling his daughter to his chest he shepherded his little family towards the exit. Keiko had linked arms with Julian and they were talking, of all things, about Morn's latest hair restoring treatment. Miles smiled. It had been a good night.

A few days later, the couple stood besides a bio bed, anxiety pinching at their faces. Julian had had an unexpected fainting spell and had been admitted for a check up. He had taken a few hypos and was now scanning himself to make sure everything was still structurally sound after his fall.

A monitor bloomed into life and the tiny form of their son came into view. The picture passed through a few psychedelic color changes, then settled down to a more natural hue.

"There, see, nothing to worry about." The relief was evident in Julian voice. He moved the scanner around a little, then nodded in satisfaction. "No harm done at all."

Miles moved closer to the monitor, reaching out as if to touch the image there. "My son. He's beautiful," he said, a deep wonder in his voice. Keiko hugged his arm and nodded agreement.

"Just like his father," she said. Miles smiled back at her, then turned to the monitor again. They watched the scan for a little longer; each caught up in the magic of the new life. Eventually Miles wiped the back of his hand over his watering eyes and smiled over at Julian.

"Have I said thank you recently?" he asked. Julian looked embarrassed, so the engineer left it at that. But he vowed to do something really nice for the young doctor one day. Something special.

The days passed at a hectic pace. Sisko was called on by Starfleet to negotiate a peace treaty somewhere and Major Kira took his place as Deep Space Nine's commander. Suddenly all of Bajor was after her, wanting a 'sympathetic' Bajoran to hear their requests. She stubbornly stuck to the captain's notes on shipping, immigration, quarantine, the lot. Even the market days that she personally felt were a security risk got okayed because Sisko would have wanted them.

And Julian Bashir became used to going home to a loving family that cooked for him, eased every ache and pain, worried when he grew tired, dragged him away from work if he stayed too long, made him laugh when he felt down.

It felt good, but wrong somehow, too. They weren't his family, he was almost stealing this time with them. When the pregnancy was over, so would this close unity be and it scared him. He feared growing too dependent upon it, suspected that it was too late and he already was.

Jadzia sat at her entertainment table, a glass of raktajino in one hand and a baby book in the other. She'd just amused the doctor with the tale of her fourth child Biome, who had decided to be born in an ice storm, in a snowed-in transport ship. Julian sat at the table besides her, a decimated bowl of berries and cream before him.

"Babies are so adorable, Julian - just wait until you have your own."

A shadow passed over the young man's face and he turned from the gummily smiling baby in the picture to twirl the spoon in his hands, looking way too upset for a man with berry juice stains on the corners of his mouth.

"Julian?" Jadzia asked. A shiver of precognition ran up her spine and she was suddenly certain he was going to tell her something she didn't want to hear.

"I won't be having any children, Dax. Not of my own. I have a," he paused and glanced up at her, then quickly looked away, "a genetic flaw. I would have passed it on to any children I fathered."

Jadzia felt her heart wrench. So, this was why. It was a puzzle she had often revolved in her mind, when eventually she got to see a little behind the shallow mask Julian wore. Why was it that he chased so many lovers, yet settled with so few? Eventually he left even them, often under the public mistake that they had left him. Now she knew why.

What could he offer a woman who wished to have a stable relationship, after all? What could he offer, in place of children? There was his lovely self, of course, but she knew Julian wouldn't see it that way.

"Curzon had no children," she murmured, the memories of her previous host still vibrant inside her. "It's a hard choice to make."

"Yes." Julian ran a finger through the berry-stained cream at the bottom of his desert bowl. "Do you remember that planet in the Teplan system, the one the Dominion seeded with the Blight? There was a girl there, Koria. She had begun to Quicken, just as her baby was to be born."

"I remember how you stayed on that planet, against Benjamin's advice. And how you developed the inoculation that made it possible for the next generation to be born without the Dominion's damn virus." She shook her head and gave a little smile. Julian had truly worked a miracle there.

"I held the baby afterwards, after Koria had died," Julian whispered. "I remember thinking, this is what I want. A child of my own, to hold and love, to teach the wonders of the universe to. In that moment I wished so hard for a child." His eyes were unfocused, seeing into another time. Absently, he ran a hand down the swelling of his belly. "Be careful what you wish for, that's how the saying goes, right, Jadzia?"

The Trill reached over and gripped his hand, squeezing it lightly. Julian took a deep breath, then looked up directly into her eyes.

"I can't do it," he whispered. "It's too hard."

Yes! Jadzia crowed inwardly with triumph. She knew, as few others had guessed, how dangerous this pregnancy was, how some of the specialist doctors and others had tried in vain to talk the stubborn man out of this course of action. Now that he had seen reason, they could start working on a way to transfer the baby without harm. She had even been experimenting with some phase technology in hopes that just such an opportunity would present ....

She looked at the dejected, defeated slump of Julian's shoulders and another voice spoke to her heart. An older voice, one that had borne and lost many children. Dax gently reminded her host that Julian could have had this conversation with Miles or Keiko, yet he hadn't. Neither had he spoken to his fellow doctors, who had every reason to want him to change his mind and avoid the difficult, life threatening procedures.

No, he had come to her, Jadzia Dax, because he knew she had the strength to say what he needed to hear, what he desperately wanted to hear. And it wasn't what she wanted to say. With an aching heart, she put her arms around him and drew him close, so he wouldn't see the tears as they ran down her face.

"You can do this, Julian. The hormones are just making you feel awful right now. I know you're tired, and it hurts, and you feel miserable. I know you hate all the medical procedures, the medication, the interruption to your patients' care." She reached down and blindly twinned her fingers with his. She willed herself to sound determined as she said, "But you can do this. I know you can."

She also knew, as she said the words, that she would hate herself, should anything happen. Should Julian die in childbirth, or as a complication of childbirth. And for a moment she resented that, his making her speak the words. Just as she understood his need for someone who would say them.

Non of the others could, all only too eager to give Julian a way out, encouraging him to save himself, even the O'Briens. Especially the O'Briens. But that wasn't who Julian Bashir was. He would hate himself later for even contemplating giving up like this. Even though he had chosen a safe person to unburden his uncertainties to. Even though he knew that the emotional turmoil he felt was almost certainly a reaction to the imbalance in his hormones. When the self-recriminations came, she would not be there to witness them. He would hide this further weakness from her.

But he was here now and Jadzia started to sway, gently rocking him to and fro. Giving silent permission. The thin body in her arms began to shudder as the tears were at last released and she automatically began to croon. Nothing too melodic, just the toneless repetition of sound she used to use with her own children. A Trill lullaby.

"It's okay, Julian. You're going to make it," she murmured into his hair. "You are one of the strongest people I've met. The heart of a warrior beats within you. Don't ever doubt that."

Julian nodded against her shoulder. The crying continued, but Jadzia was disturbed to hear no sobs. Humans were like Trill, when they grieved they did so verbally, but Julian made almost no sound. When had he learned to contain his sorrow this way? It wasn't healthy.

Julian was blinking hard, trying to pull back from the emotional brink, failing. The arms of his friend were still wrapped solidly around him and he felt a surge of gratitude. Jadzia now knew, knew how weak he was. And still she seemed to like him. It was a precious gift, her acceptance. He stayed in her arms a long time, until eventually the tears stopped.

Then the Trill released him, brushed at his hair with one cool hand and declared what he really needed was a mud bath. He looked at her with wide, surprised, tear-stained eyes.

"Everything looks better after a mud bath. Come on, my unit's all set up, I won it at Fizzbin from Morn and had Rom install it for me. The mud from Jupiter will be freshest, join me." So he did, and she was right. He felt much better afterwards.

"Julian, those pants. You can't wear them, they're too tight. Here, put these on." Keiko held out a pair of pants she had altered the night before. Reluctantly, Julian stopped his dash for the doorway and began changing his clothes. Keiko took the opportunity to refill the cup he had been sipping his morning drink from. She placed some wrapped soflan cakes in his hand as well and double-checked he had his comm badge on.

Molly appeared from her bedroom and hugged Julian's legs good morning. The little girl made sure to hold on until she heard Major Kira come jogging up to their door (being commander of the station in Sisko's absence didn't mean Nerys couldn't find time for 'this' particular duty), then she let go and allowed Uncle Joolian...Julian (Mummy said she was a big girl now, and had to say it right) to kiss her on the nose. She watched anxiously as the major and Uncle Julian started off towards the promenade. Besides her, Keiko did the same. Molly reached over and took her mother's hand.

"Will he be all right?" she asked.

Surprised, Keiko looked down at her daughter's serious little face and quickly scooped the girl up into her arms. Damn that Bajoran for harassing her the other day in front of Molly. The little girl had been upset ever since.

"Of course he will, sweetheart. He'll be just fine. Why don't you and I go shopping this afternoon, just us? We'll pick something nice out for dinner, would you like that?"

Molly tilted her head to one side, considering carefully. "Can we buy Osol twists?"

"Anything you want."

"Okay, then." And she hugged her mother. She looked over her mom's shoulder as she did so, out the entryway. Where her baby brother was, in the keeping of her 'uncle'. On a station full of angry adults who seemed to want to hurt him. And she planned.