Meet Me.

singing frog.Fire Frogsinging frog

Why Fire Frog?

Why do I call my web site Fire Frog's Little Pad One, instead of Ann-Margret's Place? Well, for one thing I'm sick of people miss spelling my name! But that's not the only reason. It's lots more complicated than that!

Long, long ago, when I first started surfing the net, I came across a place called 'ACME' It is all their fault.

They have a wonderful place called the Cat's Window Bulletin Board. To post there, most people employed a user name. Many people had the same name, with a number after it, indicating who was first on the board with that name. There were about five Ann's, very confusing. There were no Ann-Margrets, yet, but dare I take the chance that others would not join later?

I decided to come up with a unique, unused, and easily spelt user name! Huzzah!!!

At this time my Grandfather had another birthday. As per usual, I gave him a frog as a gift. Not a real frog, a stone one, I think. See, he'd made the mistake of saying one year that he liked frogs, and received them for birthdays, X-mas, Easter and any other occasion we could think of ever since.

He was the proud owner of many ceramic frogs, crystal, glass, stone, plastic, beanybaby, cloth, velvet, sponge and porcelain frogs. Luckily he had a bit of humour about it all. So, unfortunately, had we.

singing frog

He received a Frog magnet clip that croaks when you use it, a tiny dictionary that was guaranteed not to have the word Frog in it (No, I didn't cut the page out. It didn't even mention Frogs under the word amphibian, a strange little dictionary indeed, and quite a find!) and a 'Handle with care, Live Frog!' box that contained a little tin crocodile with a sign saying 'I ate the Frog!' in its mouth inside.


 On this particular birthday occasion Grandad mentioned
that I was quite the contrary creature and from that I got
the germ of an idea.

I would be a Frog on line, in honour of my long suffering
Grandad, and I would be contrary as well!
So, what is it that frogs are opposite to?
water, not earth, not air. But Fire. Hm, yes.

I am Fire Frog!

I am also 'The Mighty Fire Frog', firefrog, 'Da Fire Frog', dafirefrog and thefirefrog in places where I've stuffed up the entry code and had to sign up twice. smile

There have been some changes. The original button I did for my web used a fairy frog. But I put the wings on upside down (hey, it was my first go at picture manipulation!) I thought nobody would notice. They did. Boy, they sure did!

So I fixed that. My fairy frog is leaning on a snail shell. I manipulated the picture a bit, added a snail with bridle and bit - voile! Fire Frog now rides a trusty Racing Snail, called Gerald.

This is how I introduced Fire Frog to one of my lists -

Angel is a Devil

Meet my muse, Fire Frog. He says Hi!

Well, yes, ok, he's a frog. With wings and antenna. That's because he is a fairy frog. Note the fiery trail of embers left by his passing. He delivers some quite nice stories to me. Of course, he only has his pet
racing snail Gerald to deliver them on.

Yes, the long wait between stories is definitely all his fault. Definitely. I, as you can see, am entirely blameless. It's all the fairy's fault!

Ah hem. cof. Nice fairy frog. Put down your wand. Let's not get excited about this...

reedeep. reedeep. reeACK...

That just was not funny, frog. No nematodes for you buster!

So, you've met him. Cute little bugger really, but quite wilful. Determined to finish this huge DS9 story before going back to the TS one I want to type up.

Still, muses. Can't live with em, can't wear them as a hat.

 Then later I had him deliver a story -

Story; via Frog Muse Delivery

The soft hiss of steam alerted me to the arrival of my muse, the all knowing Fairy Frog. He descended with a flick of his gossamer wings from Gerald, his mighty racing snail. Stray embers smouldered on the carpet.

"Hail fair maiden, I bring tidings of great joy." Boomed the Frog of the Air in his majestic voice.

"Oooh, goodies." I beamed happily, rubbing my hands together with glee.

"You betcha!" croaked his Lightness. "Cop a load of this...."

;) :) ;) :)

Insert mildly erotic, but quite silly story.

;) :) ;) :)

"This is it? This is weird, even for me." I gasp, looking the parchment over yet again.

"Oops, is that the time? Gotta hop, my little cabbage." His Greenness declares, taking up Gerald's reins.

"Muse!" I screech delicately.

"Well, you haven't finished the last two I gave you yet." Whines the Mighty Frog of Story Delivering. "Get with the program. And Gerald wants to know have you done the Sleepy Hollow story yet, he thought it looked good enough to eat. Snails, they have strange tastes. Now I must away, tut-tar!"

"I wondered where the drool came from, it couldn't have all been mine. And come back here, I want a decent Sentinel story! Back here I say! tadpole!"

Needless to say, he didn't listen. Muses today. Can't live with 'em, can't roast them slowly over an open fire. Darn.

 And that is how all that came about.

As an aside. Grandad has 'gone over' to where frogs really do have wings. To help send him on his way I stayed up the night before his cremation and made dozens of little green origami frogs and placed them in the coffin. I gave a little frog to any of my family that wanted one too. I like to think they helped lead him up that garden path to his own little piece of paradise.

Just the other day I put the words Fire Frog into a web page that works out anagrams and it came up with the words
grief for'.


This is Chibi me with Chibi Cinnabar.

Walking on the moon.

Now for a bit of a laugh, here are some of the
signature lines I've used over the years -

Fire Frog, off to dance her way across the internet, doing the two finger
shuffle...Tappity, tappity...Splash!

Fire Frog hopping on outta here! ....Splash!

Fire Frog, whose server is being sloooow and needs an
activity for the night.

Fire Frog, who is having problems controlling her urge to put exclamation
points on everything again!!! Bye!

Fire Frog, now the happiest tadpole in her pond. :)

Fire Frog, girding herself for flames.

Fire Frog, thinking it's well past time she braided her sideburns again, even
if the beads in the end do swing round and hit her teeth.

Fire Frog, one grateful frog, hopping on back to little pad one, hop, hop, Splash!

Fire Frog, in need of sleep, or a decent chocolate fix, or both.

Fire Frog, still glowing...

Fire Frog, the not quite with it yet. Infact, still wondering what IT is!!!

Fire Frog, who will conquer smart keys one day +ACE-

Fire Frog, off to surf the net. See you round like a man made pond!

Fire Frog, off to burn some Barbara Cartland novels and inhale the fumes

Fire Frog, off to feel them good vibrations going on...hop, hop...suh...suh...

Fire Frog, off to sleep the sleep of the wicked.

Fire Frog, preparing the box of tissues as we speak...
(oh, how I looove those sad stories, not).

Fire Frog, eagerly awaiting the chocolate, er, Easter season!

Fire Frog, the happy.

Fire Frog, the speechless.

Fire Frog, the young and sprightly, god damnit!

Fire Frog, leaping on back to Little Pad One...Splash!
(glub, glub, oops, to many chocolates...)

Fire Frog, still recovering from the requisite 'getting pissed'
part of the celebrations.

Fire Frog, who now is expected to go to sleep? Hah, I think not! I shall
stay up and devise more and more intricate uses for an exclamation mark!!!

A sad little Fire Frog, all alone with no chocolate to console her. sigh.

Fire Frog, who's only guessing really. :)

Fire Frog, gone all warm and squidgy in her pond.

Fire Frog, who will go back to her little pond and draw the lilies over
her head in preparation for being flamed for such a long post.

Fire Frog, the curious.

Fire Frog, spreading the joy.

Fire Frog, who is going to write it down somewhere 'else' so she won't lose it.

Fire Frog, who is being more trouble than she is worth, as usual.

Fire Frog, feeling virtuous...hop...hop...Splash.

Fire Frog, who has found out that phosphoric acid itches like
buggery when not diluted.

Fire Frog hopping off to web surf. Cowabunger dudettes...Splash!

Fire Frog , wondering why her head is spinning. What's this she has written in
the screen. Gods, better delete it before she accidentally....

Fire Frog, the sugar coated with marshmallow filling. Burp.

Fire Frog, who just got out of hospital, and can still feel the omnipotence given
off by truly good drugs (wheeee)

Fire Frog, off to count her coins and see if she has saved up enough to buy
some more fanzines yet....Splash

Fire Frog, trying to work out a reason to explain to her boss why there are
half a dozen chicken bones sitting in a beaker marked
'Do Not Touch!' in the fume hood. :)

Enchanted Fire Frog hops dreamily back to Little Pad One to await
next instalment of exciting fanzine story.

Fire Frog, who should have known, there is never a Chemist around when you need one.

Fire Frog, Gold card holder and comic junkie in pre withdrawal miasma.

Fire Frog, the evilly grinning.

Fire Frog, with firepower in her mouse, and nothing to aim it at.

Fire Frog, chortling evilly, delighted to use plot devises as torture on her list sibs.

Fire Frog, off to polish more lily pads...Splash!

Fire Frog, rolling herself to the fridge for another Easter egg....yum.

Fire Frog, off to worry that she shouldn't have sent this after all,
but it's to late as she already pressed the but....

Fire Frog, snuffling into the night...Splash!

A fairly breathless Fire Frog, going crazy trying to figure out what became
of that darn magnifying glass...Splash!

Fire Frog, off to dream of chocolate brownies...mmm...Splash!

Hopping to hear from you soon...Fire Frog!

This is
Fire Frog, hopping off to wallow in flames back at little pad one...

Be well. This is Fire Frog, going to dig food stuffs from her perma
frost fridge...Splash!

Bye Bye...Da Frog, Da Fire Frog...Sploosh.

This Is Fire Frog, hopping off to sleep the sleep of the just.
(Just what, don't ask!)

This is Fire Frog, hopping off to make a nest for herself besides the post box.
Let you know when the goodies arrive!..Splash!

Fire Frog, off to find a reduction cap for her swelling head :)

Fire Frog, leaping off to go tumble with the other happy critters on the web.

Fire Frog, in a swelter of activity, preparing a place in her
hoard for some more tapes.

This is Fire Frog, off to spread good will to her fellow creatures on the Web,
be cool, don't worry.

This is Fire Frog, off to play in her little corner of the mulitiverse...Splash

Fire Frog, languishing in front of her monitor, the only one who really understands.
(I am thinking, Irises for Valentines Day? Or will the pollen affect his hard-drive?)
Oooh, must take more medicine...

Love and lettuces, Fire Frog, who really does know what you mean :)

Fire Frog the Insatiable.

Fire Frog. (The winner is...Sydney!....oops, flash back...)

Thanks eternal, Fire Frog. (Who really must go get some sleep now.)

This is Fire Frog, celebrating Australia Day with some loud croaking and
thrashing about in her pond.

Fire Frog, the old (make that youngish middle aged, damnit!) softie...Splash.

Fire Frog, the eternally, er, wet. Hopping off to little pad one...Splash!

Fire Frog hopping off to drown her sorrows in cheep rice

Thank you, from a very happy amphibian. Fire Frog :)

So-long now, time for some pond gazing. Can you hear the croaks tonight?
That's me snoring. Bye Bye from
Fire Frog.

Just another point of view from the contrary creature that is Fire Frog. Bye Bye.

Sorry. A contrite Fire Frog.

This is Fire Frog signing off to go crawl under a lily pad and plan the
next step on her road to world domination!.....Splash!

This is Fire Frog, I'm weird, but I'm saving up to be eccentric.

Fire Frog slinks away to hide quietly at the bottom of her pool for awhile.
She will return when you least expect it! Wish the frog luck!

Fire Frog, the smirking maniac-ly.

Yours sincerely, the lovable but temperamental Fire Frog
(Love Me! Or I'll hunt you down and put sand fleas in your shorts!)

That's all my mysteries for now. This is Fire Frog signing off...hop...hop...Splash!

Fire Frog, born to be a movie critic (and a ballerina, and a rally car driver.)

Fire Frog, contemplating a years worth of savage bargain hunting,
resulting in a pile of fairy lights as high as her knee,
and no energy to hang them with....

Fire Frog. Happy but annoyed, or, possibly, annoyed but happy. Um. Or both.

Fire Frog, off to stare at the ever growing pile of dishes in the sink,
and admire the latest fungus growth. :)


 Below is one of those e mail things people send around. You are asked to make a copy, fill it out with your info, send one to the sender and five to other people you know. Fun, huh! So I filled it out, sent it away, and thought, gee, all that typing. Be a waste not to use it. So here it is...


Name given at birth: Ann-Margret Parke.
Nicknames: Fire Frog, The Witch.
Hometown: Katanning, Western Australia.
Current Residence: Geraldton, Western Australia.
School: There were seven or so of them. 2 in England.
Croutons or Bacon Bits: Eew, vegetarian am I, croutons it is!
Favourite Salad Dressing: Cream.
What's the first thing you would do (besides quit your job) if you won the lottery? Buy UPN and save The Sentinel.
Do You Drink: Life wasn't meant to be understood. Certainly, not sober. That's a yes, by the way.
Shampoo or Conditioner: Both, and hot wax treatments if I can. See here.
Favourite shampoo or conditioner: You should try and rotate your stuff, so Pert and Pantene and Essentials and...
What type of deodorant do you use: Mum.
Have you ever gone skinny-dipping: Yo
Do you make fun of people? Bad Karma.
Favourite colour: Blue
Have you ever been convicted of a crime: No. They both survived.
Best on-line friends: The Flashing Line thing. Look, there it is. (This is my attempt at a mock cursor. Sad, really.)
One pillow or two: Six. Plus cats.
Pets: four cats. two dogs (Great Dane/BullmastifX), one fern, a dozen guppies called Michael. See here.
Favourite type of music: Folk, Rock, Old Time, Classical, Spiritual, eclectic taste in music...
Favourite place to be: In front of my computer.
Favourite movie(s): Star Wars Trilogy, The Lion in Winter, Princess Bride, Ladyhawk. See here.
Hobbies: Painting lead figurines etc. And craft in general. See here.
Toothpaste: Cedel Medicated. No fluoride and for the first time I have both white and pain free teeth. Plus, it is Australian made and owned!
Favourite Food: Fast Food.
Favourite town to chill in: Perth.
Dream car: One that won't show the blood stains (but they survived, so it doesn't matter.)
Type of car you drive: Purple mini Ute. See here.
Word or phrases you overuse: Ye (short for 'Ye gods and ye little fishes.")
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: No. I've managed to beat them all off for now. J
Tattoos/piercings: Nose stud. (If they ever carve out the brain tumour I'm thinking of getting a coiled dragon holding a pearl tattooed over the scar on my forehead.)
Favourite Ice Cream: Praline.
Favourite Drink: Coke (it raises your ancestors from the dead!)
What's your bedtime: 1:00am
Favourite Starbucks drink: What's Starbucks?
Favourite athletic shoe: Hard Yakka steelcap boots.
Favourite Perfume/Cologne: Lavender. Boronia.
Favourite Website: Fire Frogs Little Pad One at (heeheehee.)
Favourite TV shows: Stargate and Blue Healers.
Favourite Subject in Highschool: Physics and Geology.
Least Favourite Subject: Plastics.
Favourite Alcoholic Drink: Sake.
Favourite song at the moment: Placebo. Pure Morning (or whatever it's called).
Favourite Sport to Watch: Horse jumping, figure skating.
Silliest person you know: Earn.
What do you look for in the opposite sex: A strong, intelligent hunk that will let me walk all over him.
Person you sent this to that is least likely to respond: Adam, who doesn't know me from a bar of soap. (Hi Adam. This
is all Kelly's fault you know.)
What do you want to be when you grow up: Do I have to grow up?
What's a quality you most admire in a person: Generosity.
Describe a talent you have: I can tell stories.
Favourite jelly bean colour/flavour: They are made with gelatine. No true Vegetarian would touch them. Besides, they all
taste icky. I once planted a jellybean and a tree grew where I buried it. This is a true thing. It happened.
If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?: In bed. Or shooting the rapids at Adventure World.
Who do you most admire? The Doug Anthony All Stars. (I was writing this late at night remember)
What is your New Year's Resolution? Type up 'Of Ebony Elephants.'
Do you enjoy your current job? I love my job. Could kill the people I work with sometimes, but that's true everywhere.
Are you partial to red wine, white wine, or do you go either way? Anything by Browns Brothers will do.
What is the best time you have had in the city of Atlanta? Watching it get blown up on TV during the Olympics.


These are some fun places to visit - if you go here, you can answer a questionnaire and find out which StarWars character you are. I, apparently, am Luke Skywalker!!!! May the Force be with you...

Go here to find out what kind of dog type you are. I'm a Great Dane!



This is what I want you to think I look like as I tap out my words of wisdom.

Back to Index Page...

But this, unfortunately, is the reality.