Fire Frog's
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W ork Humour. |
Rome was not made a Great Empire by holding meetings. They did it by slaughtering those who opposed them.
Leadership - getting someone else to do what they don't want to do, and liking it.
I don't know and I don't care, that's why they put me in charge.
I've used up all my sick days, so now I'm calling in dead.
Save time, see it my way.
No! Now what else was on your mind?
Just give me the facts, I'll put in my own bull shit.
Teamwork means not having to take all the blame yourself.
A person who smiles in the face of adversity already has a scapegoat picked out.
The time for action is past! NOW is the time for the senseless bickering.
Who the hell let the morning people run things?
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
If you can keep your head while those around you lose theirs, you obviously haven't a clue as to what is going on.
I can't come to work today, the voices said to stay home and clean the guns.
Tolerance is the uncomfortable feeling the other bloke may be right.
When arguing with a fool, make sure they are not doing the same thing.
The perceived usefulness of a thing is in direct inverse to its actual usefulness when paid for.
A pat on the back is only a few centimetres away from a kick in the arse.
Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, they won't promote you.
I owe, I owe! It's off to work I go.
It doesn't matter what you do, only what you say you've done, and are going to do.
After any salary rise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
Everything can be filed under 'miscellaneous'.
It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Never delay the ending of a meeting, or the beginning of 'happy hour'.
Anyone can do any amount of work, so long as it isn't the work they are supposed to be doing.
If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you'll get out of it.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
He who works and does his best, goes down the road just like the rest.
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
When confronted by a difficult problem, think to yourself,
"Now, what would Batman have done?"
When confronted by a really big problem, think
"Now what would Bill Gates have done?"
Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.
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I felt like sleeping in today. But I came to work instead.